There can be few British institutions that say more about us as a nation than the School Sports Day. Our division into games-worshippers and those who couldn’t care less is never seen more starkly than in the keen faces of kids determined to win the egg-and-spoon race or for senior school pupils the 100m, and their relaxed mates making daisy-chains and chatting. And it’s not just the kids: is there anything more revelatory than dads who just happen to turn up for the event in running shoes: “A dads’ race – I hadn’t realised.” The contemporary history of Sports Days is telling too: non-competitive versions foisted on some of the recent cohorts; and the angry reaction of right wing newspapers and politicians to such developments.
But whatever the nature of the contests (or non-contests) certain elements are timeless threads in the British tapestry. We must have a public-address system that doesn’t work properly, manned by a volunteer who is either a teacher dodging sportier duties or a parent not entirely displeased with his own voice. The smell of newly mown grass must permeate the area. Ideally the kids will represent houses whose names mean nothing to them. One child will win everything in sight. One mum will claim her child has been robbed of glory by blind judges. And there must be plastic medals.
Strangely given our often inclement weather nearly all sports days pass without rain, which may be a sign of approval from the local gods; or that they have money on the red-haired twins in the three-legged race.
More British Institutions
Afternoon Tea
Allotments
April Fools Day
Big Ben
Binge Drinking
Black Cabs
Bonfire Night
British Sense of Humour
Brown Windsor Soup
Burns Night
Cadburys
Castles
Changing the Guard
City of London
Coronation Street
Cowes Week
Cricket
Crufts
Dad’s Army
E-Type Jag
Eccentricity
English Country Garden
Fish and Chips
Fish Fingers
Fox Hunting
Full English Breakfast
Gin and Tonic
Glastonbury
Glorious Goodwood
Grand National
Grouse Shooting
Harrods
Highland Games
Hogmanay
James Bond
John Bull
King Arthur
Land Rover
Lloyds of London
London to Brighton Veteran Car Rally
Marks and Spencer
Monty Python
Morecambe and Wise
Old School Tie
Oxbridge
Panto
Picnics
Pimms
Point-to-Point
Punch and Judy
Queueing
Real Ale
Red Arrows
Red Telephone Boxes
Remembrance Poppies
Robin Hood
Rolls Royce
Royal Ascot
Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo
Savile Row Suits
School Discos
School Sports Day
Seaside Piers
Speakers’ Corner
Stag Nights
Stiff Upper Lip
Strawberries and Cream
Street Markets
Summer Festivals
Sunday Roasts
The Archers
The BBC
The Beano
The Boat Race
The Brass Band
The British Bobby
The Bulldog
The Church of England
The Cup Final
The Curry House
The English Rose
The Garden Shed
The Honours System
The Kilt
The Last Night at the Proms
The London Bus
The Mini
The National Trust
The NHS
The Oak
The Pub
The Queen’s Speech
The Rolling Stones
The Royal Christmas Message
The Spitfire
The V Sign
The Village Fete
The Weather
Travelling Fairs
Trooping the Colour
Village Greens
Wedgwood
Wellington Boots
Wimbledon
Wine Gums
Yeomen of the Guard
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