While travelling fairs may not strike you immediately as a national institution, consider two things: many are still held on the same days as ancient trading fairs granted to towns and cities by kings from centuries ago – King John was particularly active in that regard; and they still form part of the structure of our year, something for kids to look forward to; teenagers to try and pull at; and adults to spend ridiculous sums on.
Fairs are an institution too in that they must contain certain elements to qualify. There must be a candyfloss stall; and someone selling flavourless hot-dogs sold because of the savoury smell of the accompanying fried onions. There has to be a helter-skelter ride whose operators are trained to act immediately when someone requests their car be slowed – by speeding its rotation. Dodgems are a sine qua non. And games of skill (or miraculous intervention) where a ring is thrown over an object about 1mm less in diameter; where coconuts seemingly super-glued to posts can be dislodged; or three bent and buggered darts can be thrown into a playing card: all in order to win stuff you don’t really want in the first place like giant cuddly toys. Though it was a sad day when gold-fish stopped being offered as prizes, the ponds of Britain housing many survivors of the triumphant plastic bag on a stick still.
Fair people are special too, many of them apparently unaware of shampoo, clothed in jeans that make Jeremy Clarkson seem fashionable, but envied by the rest of us in steadier employment for their nomadic lifestyle and frequently for their daring as they skip across rides to collect money. Long may they and their fairs continue.
More British Institutions
Afternoon Tea
Allotments
April Fools Day
Big Ben
Binge Drinking
Black Cabs
Bonfire Night
British Sense of Humour
Brown Windsor Soup
Burns Night
Cadburys
Castles
Changing the Guard
City of London
Coronation Street
Cowes Week
Cricket
Crufts
Dad’s Army
E-Type Jag
Eccentricity
English Country Garden
Fish and Chips
Fish Fingers
Fox Hunting
Full English Breakfast
Gin and Tonic
Glastonbury
Glorious Goodwood
Grand National
Grouse Shooting
Harrods
Highland Games
Hogmanay
James Bond
John Bull
King Arthur
Land Rover
Lloyds of London
London to Brighton Veteran Car Rally
Marks and Spencer
Monty Python
Morecambe and Wise
Old School Tie
Oxbridge
Panto
Picnics
Pimms
Point-to-Point
Punch and Judy
Queueing
Real Ale
Red Arrows
Red Telephone Boxes
Remembrance Poppies
Robin Hood
Rolls Royce
Royal Ascot
Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo
Savile Row Suits
School Discos
School Sports Day
Seaside Piers
Speakers’ Corner
Stag Nights
Stiff Upper Lip
Strawberries and Cream
Street Markets
Summer Festivals
Sunday Roasts
The Archers
The BBC
The Beano
The Boat Race
The Brass Band
The British Bobby
The Bulldog
The Church of England
The Cup Final
The Curry House
The English Rose
The Garden Shed
The Honours System
The Kilt
The Last Night at the Proms
The London Bus
The Mini
The National Trust
The NHS
The Oak
The Pub
The Queen’s Speech
The Rolling Stones
The Royal Christmas Message
The Spitfire
The V Sign
The Village Fete
The Weather
Travelling Fairs
Trooping the Colour
Village Greens
Wedgwood
Wellington Boots
Wimbledon
Wine Gums
Yeomen of the Guard
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